27 February, 2006

An Important Address from The Queen

Greetings citizens of the galaxy, I am pleased to be speaking to you once again.

First, I wanted to give everyone an update on Our struggles against the forces of Galactor the Evil Galactic Overlord. The Joint Chiefs have just informed me that just last week, a mission against one of Galactor’s middle managers was successful. Between last week’s triumph and the recent victory on Planet Hel, much of Galactor’s financial backbone has been crippled.

While I cannot go into details on last week’s accomplishment, I can tell you about the accomplishments on Hel. Galactor’s Edifice of Evil has been annexed by several development corporations and turned into luxury condos. I know that insurgents continue to cause trouble on the planet, but rest assured the military has things well under control. To that I will only add: mission accomplished.

There is one other thing that I wanted to talk about. My advisors have advised me that I am not connecting with the common beings of the galaxy. They have further counseled Me that a personal story would allow people to feel closer to Me.

OK, so here goes, when I was young girl, my father King Galacton IX, was a busy man but he cared for His family very much. Despite the fact that he had sovereignty over the known galaxy, he still wanted to be sure that his little girl had a happy birthday.

I had made it very clear that the only thing that I wanted for My birthday was a Vandorian weissponig. Everyone knows that weissponigs are a very rare, very special animal. They have a beautiful white coat, they are smart and can learn many tricks, and their perspiration can be harvested as a fragrance or for medicinal purposes. Few people can afford to see one, let alone own one.

Again, I made it very clear that the only thing I wanted for My birthday was a weissponig. I was a young girl and I was very boisterous and impetuous and my father said several times that it was impossible to get one. I don’t want to say that I had a fit or anything, but I was very saddened and I let him know it.

He spent many days up to My birthday assuring me that I could never get one, but lo and behold, on that bright morning, when I woke up, there it was lying next to me. It was the most beautiful white little weissponig I’ve ever seen.

I named her Princess and we had lots of fun together. We spent the whole summer running through meadows, sharing picnic lunches and spending every waking minute together. Eventually, fall passed and winter came and then I got a new pair of rocket skates. Everyone knows that a weissponig can’t ice skate, so my time with her decreased.

So that is the story of My first pet. I sometimes wonder whatever happened to her, though I am quite certain that she moved on to a new and happy home.

One final word. I have put Myself on the blogosphere in order to make Myself more accessible and understood in a personal way. If you have any questions, please feel free to leave them here or at My own blog and I assure you they will be answered.

Thank you and have a pleasant day.


At 27/2/06 18:13, Blogger Professor Xavier said...

I got a ticket yesterday for doing 47mph in a 35 zone. Can you do anything about that for me?

At 7/3/06 20:09, Blogger Jango Fett said...

I was going in a forbidden zone near the outer-rim. Can you help me with that?

I think not. :)


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