An Important Address from The Queen

Greetings citizens of the galaxy, I am pleased to be speaking to you once again.

First, I wanted to give everyone an update on Our struggles against the forces of Galactor the Evil Galactic Overlord. The Joint Chiefs have just informed me that just last week, a mission against one of Galactor’s middle managers was successful. Between last week’s triumph and the recent victory on Planet Hel, much of Galactor’s financial backbone has been crippled.

While I cannot go into details on last week’s accomplishment, I can tell you about the accomplishments on Hel. Galactor’s Edifice of Evil has been annexed by several development corporations and turned into luxury condos. I know that insurgents continue to cause trouble on the planet, but rest assured the military has things well under control. To that I will only add: mission accomplished.

There is one other thing that I wanted to talk about. My advisors have advised me that I am not connecting with the common beings of the galaxy. They have further counseled Me that a personal story would allow people to feel closer to Me.

OK, so here goes, when I was young girl, my father King Galacton IX, was a busy man but he cared for His family very much. Despite the fact that he had sovereignty over the known galaxy, he still wanted to be sure that his little girl had a happy birthday.

I had made it very clear that the only thing that I wanted for My birthday was a Vandorian weissponig. Everyone knows that weissponigs are a very rare, very special animal. They have a beautiful white coat, they are smart and can learn many tricks, and their perspiration can be harvested as a fragrance or for medicinal purposes. Few people can afford to see one, let alone own one.

Again, I made it very clear that the only thing I wanted for My birthday was a weissponig. I was a young girl and I was very boisterous and impetuous and my father said several times that it was impossible to get one. I don’t want to say that I had a fit or anything, but I was very saddened and I let him know it.

He spent many days up to My birthday assuring me that I could never get one, but lo and behold, on that bright morning, when I woke up, there it was lying next to me. It was the most beautiful white little weissponig I’ve ever seen.

I named her Princess and we had lots of fun together. We spent the whole summer running through meadows, sharing picnic lunches and spending every waking minute together. Eventually, fall passed and winter came and then I got a new pair of rocket skates. Everyone knows that a weissponig can’t ice skate, so my time with her decreased.

So that is the story of My first pet. I sometimes wonder whatever happened to her, though I am quite certain that she moved on to a new and happy home.

One final word. I have put Myself on the blogosphere in order to make Myself more accessible and understood in a personal way. If you have any questions, please feel free to leave them here or at My own blog and I assure you they will be answered.

Thank you and have a pleasant day.

I am Tagged

If you were to ghost write Deadpool's autobiography, what would you name it?

Deadpool: Destrucity

If Simon Cowell were to ask you to help takeover France with Deadpool and himself, would you accept?

Yes, I'm ready, man, check it out. I am the ultimate badboy! State of the badboy art! You do NOT want to mess with me. Check it out! Hey Simon, don't worry. Me and my squad of ultimate badboys will protect you! Check it out! Independently targeting particle beam phalanx. Whoa! Fry half a city with this puppy. We got tactical smart missiles, phase-plasma pulse rifles, RPGs, we got sonic electronic ball breakers! We got nukes, we got knives, sharp sticks...

On a scale of 50-100, with 50 being mind blowing and 100 being drooling the Nile river, how would you rate Bea Arthur?

Bea Arthur ain't my type. My kind of lady loves doing pullups and can fire a smart gun.

If you were to appear on Deadpool's show, who would you play?

Private Hudson, the man tasked with saving the world and getting the girl, and he's only got 24 hours to do it.

List 5 ways to improve tacos.

1. Put it in an MRE.
2. Put it into a toothpaste tube and make it space food.
3. Have the autochef dispense it.
4. Keep it away from bugs.
5. Put chocolate on it, because sometimes a guy's just gotta have chocolate.

Would you die for Deadpool?

If he were my commanding officer and he gave the order, yes. Otherwise, no.

Do you find Cable's eyes dreamy?

Yes, they're so thick and powerful. Wait did you say thighs?

Oh yeah, I tag Cable.

I'm the Duke, too!

Just like my buddy, Jon. I'm tough, but charming. I'm so charming, evidently, that I'm off the scale. It must've broke or something.

John Wayne and I are very much alike, we're both men's men and we both distribute justice with a gun and a horse. His gun is a six shooter and his horse is a stallion. My gun is an M41A Pulse Rifle and my horse is a 4-ton APC.

John Wayne You scored 54% Tough, 9% Roguish, 28% Friendly, and 9% Charming!

You, my friend, are a man's man, the original true grit, one tough talking, swaggering son of a bitch. You're not a bad guy, on the contrary, you're the ultimate good guy, but you're one tough character, rough and tumble, ready for anything. You call the shots and go your own way, and if some screwy dame is willing to accept your terms, that's just fine by you. Otherwise, you'll just hit the open trail and stay true to yourself. You stand up for what you believe and can handle any situation, usually by rushing into the thick of the action. You're not polished and you're not overly warm, but you're a straight shooter and a real stand up guy. Co-stars include Lauren Bacall and Maureen O'Hara, tough broads who can take care of themselves. Find out what kind of classic dame you'd make by taking the Classic Dames Test.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 95% on Tough You scored higher than 22% on Roguish You scored higher than 48% on Friendly You scored higher than 6% on Charming

Link: The Classic Leading Man Test written by gidgetgoes on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Ok, how about an update?

I haven't been updating this blog for a while. I've been busy, the Commandant of the Colonial Marines promoted me and gave me a squad to lead.











So we're going on a top secret mission, the details of which are obviously classified. Nonetheless, my chronicles of this mission can be found elsewhere on the Internet.




There are further details as well. One of the members of my squad is a police officer named Lenina Huxley. I don't want to jinx anything, but I think that she kind of likes me.





She has this cute little way of making snorting noises whenever she laughs. Some people may say that it's a bit trite or way overdone, but I think that it's very charming. Maybe someday soon I will make her laugh.


So I guess that's all I have for this update. All of my fans out there, make sure you have 95 rounds for your M41A Pulse Rifle and keep your powder dry.