I saw an odd little monkeyboy just sitting all by himself.

“Hey little fella,” I said as I leaned down towards him and held out my hand. “Are you lost?”

The little creature snapped at me and howled.

“Hey! What’s with the snappity snappity?” I demanded.

The monkeyboy howled again and threw a rotten banana at me.

“What th--! That’s disgusting! What are you throwing crud at me for?”

The monkeyboy howled again and leapt at my face. I struggled with the crazy animal/boy, trying to keep his claws and sharp teeth off my face.

Finally I pulled him off and with my superior strength and intellect; I threw him across the floor.

“That’ll teach ya, ya stupid varmint!” I shook my fist very angrily at him.

The monkeyboy stared at me silently for a minute, then he plunged two of his dirty, banana-smeared fingers into his mouth and produced the most annoying, shrillest whistle I have ever heard.

“What was that for?” I asked. He just sat there and looked at me. Stupid monkeyboy.

All of a sudden I heard loud screeching. I turned around and saw a squadron of mad monkeyboys bearing down on me. Several dove on my all at once, followed by many more. They pulled my hair, scratched my face, and tried to bite my ears.

Utilizing my previously mentioned superior strength and intelligence, I fought the creatures off and threw them all across the room one by one.

“You stupid animals! What are you attacking me for?” I yelled. “I’ve never done nothing to you.”

The minute monsters all howled in unison and leapt at me again. I had no choice, this was going downhill faster than Aunt Tilda in a pinewood box car. They forced my hand and contained within that hand was 95 rounds of 10mm x24 fury. That’s right, game over, I had my M41A Pulse Rifle.

I fired at their feet at first, just to back them up, but they didn’t take the warning. They howled and leapt at me in unison. I fired at them.

Dozens of rounds flew out of my barrel in three round bursts. Chunks of flesh tore away from the attacking monsters and they crumpled to the ground dead or mortally wounded. Still more leapt.

“Come on! Come on! Come get some!” I yelled through the loud chattering of my automatic fire. “Yeah! Come on! Come on! Bring it! Oh you want some? Here’s a little something for you! Here’s some for you, too! And here’s some for you and you and you!”

Monkeyboys dropped to the ground. The floor was littered with their bodies. Still more of these things leapt at me. Where were these guys coming from?

Firing at my assailants, I retreated backwards to provide myself better aim. Suddenly, I bumped against something; it was a wall that I hadn’t noticed before. This was helpful as I could cover my sinewy backside while still keeping these things off.

I must have bumped a switch or something because a computer panel popped up right next to me. The monsters were still attacking, I was still firing, but with my left hand, I started punching buttons on the panel.

“Program paused,” came a calm, almost familiar female voice.

I saw another panel to my other side. I pushed it and a door slid open. I stepped out and looked around.

Darn that Trunks! I was trapped in a closet – trapped in his closet. A holodeck or something to boot.

OK, where did everybody go?