30 December, 2005

Challenge #1. My Certs Encounter

Dear Certs,

Let me tell you about my latest Certs Encounter.

I issued a formal challenge of combat to anyone willing to accept recently and the offer was quickly taken up by a Klingon named Commander Klang.

"Private Hudson, I accept your challenge on behalf of the honor of the Klingon Empire. We shall fight in hand-to-hand combat."

"I accept your challenge," I answered. "Let us then begin." I raised my fists in the proper fisticuffs fashion, as described by the Queen's Rules of Boxing.

"Oh I am afraid that you will not be fighting me," he laughed. "You will be fighting my prize pet -- the Mugato!"

The Mugato! One of the most feared animals in all the galaxy. A strong biped simian similar to Earth gorillas, the creature also sports a dangerous horn on its head, razor sharp spines on its back and a poisonous bite. But the challenge was issued, and so combat ensued.

I was unable to match strength with my feral enemy, and it quickly had the upper hand. It beat its chest and pummeled me mercilessly as I endeavored to avoid his deadly bite. I would not hold up for long against this foe, unless I could think of something and fast!

Quickly, I reached into the cargo pocket of my utilities and pulled out my Certs brand breath freshener. After popping one in my mouth, I felt instantly refreshed!

Quickly, I seized the opportunity and ripped the monster's arm off. I then beat the stupid beast into submission with his own arm. I am not sure how Certs helped me do this, but I'm sure glad it did!

Thank you Certs,


Private Hudson.

PS Game over for Mugato!


At 30/12/05 12:40, Blogger Son Goku said...

Hehehehhehe! Your the certs popeye!
or there was stereoids in that batch or you acciedently got a Mento, the Freshmaker is all powerful!

At 31/12/05 06:10, Blogger Professor Xavier said...

You know the companies that manufactor those kinds of products are always looking for real life stories like yours to use in their promotional materials. I bet if you sent this post into the Certs people, you could probably at least get some free Certs out of it.

At 1/1/06 09:38, Anonymous Anonymous said...


At 2/1/06 14:38, Blogger Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

Well, either some free certs or a recommendation of good mental health clinics in the area. Either way its a win win situation for you, Hudson.

At 3/1/06 19:36, Blogger Revan said...

Is it homocide if I squish a bug?

At 4/1/06 07:01, Blogger Captain Berk said...

Good work.

I hope you kicked his masters pastie-headed behind after you crushed his monster.

(Those things taste quite nice)


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