Let me just explain exactly how bad I am.
It's a simple equation, really.
PVT. Hudson + An enemy = Game Over
I am the culmination of intense training and the right tools and I am a deadly Colonial Marine weapon with a razor-sharp tip. Just point my head at the enemy and let me go!
To prove how tough I am, I am willing to challenge anybody out there in any competition. But be warned, I have the strength of an Olympic weightlifter, the endurance of a marathon runner, and the tenacity of a Zergelian Pittbull. When I get my prey in my jaws, I don't let go. Game over for my prey. Game over.
I'll even let my opponent decide what we will compete with, be it fencing, marksmanship, running, or judo. The H-Man conquers all.
Like I said, I will take on all comers, with only a couple exceptions:
1. Nothing with flying. I'm a grunt, not some fancy pants flyboy.
2. No super humans or meta powered humans. That would be unfair, pitting me against someone with super strength or vast mental powers.
3. No chicks. Yeah, I dig all the women, but I just don't feel right beating them up.
4. No Xenomorphs. I am not scared of aliens, I just don't want some slimy bug spitting acid blood all over my nice utilities.
5. No giant bugs. Really, how am I going to compete against some ugly bug?
6. No tricks where you say "OK, it'll be just you and me" and then all your buddies jump in and tackle me and stuff. Totally unfair.
7. No human luge competition. Man, that just looks stupid. I'm not doing that.
8. No rubbing absinthe on your boxing gloves to knock me out in the middle of the bout.
9. No giant robots or cyborgs. Again, that would be unfair. A robot would have an unnatural advantage.
10. NO BUGS. I am not fighting bugs. Do not bring bugs, do not talk about bugs, do not even think the word bug.
So there you have it. That's my challenge. Many are called, few are chosen. Who wants the honor of taking on the H-MAN?