I saw an odd little monkeyboy just sitting all by himself.

“Hey little fella,” I said as I leaned down towards him and held out my hand. “Are you lost?”

The little creature snapped at me and howled.

“Hey! What’s with the snappity snappity?” I demanded.

The monkeyboy howled again and threw a rotten banana at me.

“What th--! That’s disgusting! What are you throwing crud at me for?”

The monkeyboy howled again and leapt at my face. I struggled with the crazy animal/boy, trying to keep his claws and sharp teeth off my face.

Finally I pulled him off and with my superior strength and intellect; I threw him across the floor.

“That’ll teach ya, ya stupid varmint!” I shook my fist very angrily at him.

The monkeyboy stared at me silently for a minute, then he plunged two of his dirty, banana-smeared fingers into his mouth and produced the most annoying, shrillest whistle I have ever heard.

“What was that for?” I asked. He just sat there and looked at me. Stupid monkeyboy.

All of a sudden I heard loud screeching. I turned around and saw a squadron of mad monkeyboys bearing down on me. Several dove on my all at once, followed by many more. They pulled my hair, scratched my face, and tried to bite my ears.

Utilizing my previously mentioned superior strength and intelligence, I fought the creatures off and threw them all across the room one by one.

“You stupid animals! What are you attacking me for?” I yelled. “I’ve never done nothing to you.”

The minute monsters all howled in unison and leapt at me again. I had no choice, this was going downhill faster than Aunt Tilda in a pinewood box car. They forced my hand and contained within that hand was 95 rounds of 10mm x24 fury. That’s right, game over, I had my M41A Pulse Rifle.

I fired at their feet at first, just to back them up, but they didn’t take the warning. They howled and leapt at me in unison. I fired at them.

Dozens of rounds flew out of my barrel in three round bursts. Chunks of flesh tore away from the attacking monsters and they crumpled to the ground dead or mortally wounded. Still more leapt.

“Come on! Come on! Come get some!” I yelled through the loud chattering of my automatic fire. “Yeah! Come on! Come on! Bring it! Oh you want some? Here’s a little something for you! Here’s some for you, too! And here’s some for you and you and you!”

Monkeyboys dropped to the ground. The floor was littered with their bodies. Still more of these things leapt at me. Where were these guys coming from?

Firing at my assailants, I retreated backwards to provide myself better aim. Suddenly, I bumped against something; it was a wall that I hadn’t noticed before. This was helpful as I could cover my sinewy backside while still keeping these things off.

I must have bumped a switch or something because a computer panel popped up right next to me. The monsters were still attacking, I was still firing, but with my left hand, I started punching buttons on the panel.

“Program paused,” came a calm, almost familiar female voice.

I saw another panel to my other side. I pushed it and a door slid open. I stepped out and looked around.

Darn that Trunks! I was trapped in a closet – trapped in his closet. A holodeck or something to boot.

OK, where did everybody go?

Bugs everywhere, man! Get 'em off! Get 'em off!

I was surrounded by bugs, they kept coming at me and I kept firing at them. From my shoulder, my M41A Pulse Rifle chattered away, the rounds flew forth like bees from a hive. Bees of death spewing from a hive of destruction.

95 rounds and 10 grenades. Reload.

95 rounds and 10 grenades. Reload.

Vampirella was yelling something at me, Murri was flying all around, blasting the bugs from the skies. Finally, I snapped to just enough to hear what Vampirella was shouting.

"Hudson, grab three skulls and tails of some of the ones that have been killed and head out of the structure!" She yelled, barely able to stand. "I have to find Miari."

Ew, body parts of the Xenomorphs were all around me and I didn't want to touch those things. There was goo and acid blood all over, nonetheless, I started collecting parts and shoving them into my acid blood-resistant rucksack.

At this point for some reason, my USCM commlink started pinging. It was a message from some woman I never met named Oike Dokee or something. She tagged me with a meme:

1. Grab the nearest book: The United Space Colonial Marine Corps Drill and Ceremonies Manual
2. Open the book to page 123 Check
3. Find the fifth sentence. Roger
4. Post the text of it and the next 3 sentences on your blog along with these instructions. Affirmative:

c. Formations used by the company are line, column (of threes, etc..), mass, extended mass, and column of platoons in line. In all these formations, the platoons which comprise the company will either be in line (each squad forming one rank) or in column (each squad forming one file). The company may also form column of twos or files in a manner similar to that prescribed for a platoon, in which case the platoons are arranged as in column, except that each platoon is in column of twos or files. Formation of the company for drills and ceremonies, to include posts of officers and key noncommissioned officers, are shown in figures 9-1 through 9-5.

5. Don't you dare dig for that "cool" or "intellectual" book in your closet! I know you were thinking about it! Just pick up whatever is closest. Wilco
6. Tag three people ... Confirmed. Jon, Magdelina, Pantha.

With that nasty bit of business out of the way, I can continue on with my mission.

Things have quieted down just abit, the rushes from the bugs have dwindled. They always keep coming until they can't anymore, but maybe their numbers are too depleted for them to put up a fight. Then I looked back and I saw something that I haven't ever seen before...

"Bill? Behind us?" Vampirella was trying to draw my attention to it.

"Um Vampi, that is new! I never seen a Xenomorph quite like that!" I yelled back. I didn't dare take my eyes off it.



"What do you mean you have never seen one like that?" she yelled almost frantically.

"I mean I haven't ever seen a bug like that before!" I yelled again. It almost looked like a hybrid. Like some sort of cross between two dangerous aliens or something. "It doesn't matter, I'll take care of 'im!"

I raised my rifle and pointed it right at the creature. Breathing out carefully, I squeezed the trigger.

Click.

Bugs, bugs everywhere

I was explaining LV-426 to Vampirella and Trunks. It was horrible. We were surrounded by the most horrrible, horrific, horrifying terror that you could imagine. The LT was down, the Sarge was down, most of the squad was down and Corporal Hicks was in charge. We were holed up in one of the rooms when hundreds of Xenomorphs rushed us.

"How did you survive, William?" Vampirella asked. Normally, I would've loved it if she called me "William," but not right now.

"There was an explosion," I answered. "Sounded like, nah it was an M41A, I heard the rounds and the grenade launcher, I was able to get free, the aliens were running to the sound. Who ever it was... there was nothing I could do. Everything was exploding… I tried to get to the ship, hoping Bishop had succeeded but I was cut off... I knew I was running out of time… It was about to be game over… Then I got lucky, a small ship, one man, escape pod type… A real piece of crap, I took off man… The planet went BOOM and I thought game over man but I was picked up and rescued..."

I kept talking, but I'm not sure if I told the truth. I'm not sure if I even know the truth. All I know is that it was the single most horrifying experience in my life and I relive it every night in my dreams.

We got to the planet and I could tell they were there. I could smell 'em, and they were waiting. I wanted to get out and stomp every single last one of them for what they did to me, but I couldn't move a muscle. Vampirella and Trunks quickly got off the ship. Trunks is full of three things: bluster, bravado, and himself. He's like all the bullies that I've met in my time except for one thing, he's got the powers to back up his mouth. I hope so, he is about to encounter the bugs.

"Hudson," Vampirella called. "Are you coming?"

"Uh, yeah sure," I answered. "Uh... the ship..." I said something else, I don't remember. I couldn't move.

"Moron," Trunks sneered.

"At least I'm not named after a swimsuit," I growled back under my breath. I don't think he heard me, though. I may have to shoot him when this is all over.

Watching training

In the Colonial Marines, you have to be tough, you have to be rough, you have to be frosty. We spend a lot of time training. If we're not on a mission, then our time is spent getting physical, sweaty and dirty, drilling all the time. Never ending.

I was looking out at a pair of female marines who were sparring with different hand-to-hand combat techniques. They were giving each other quite a workout, if I were quoting some of my pals from Xavier's Institute, I would say that no quarter was asked, none given. But I'm not, so I won't.

During their exercise, I watched them go the motions and I started to think about the corps. My home. Women here are expected to pull their weight just as much as the men, they pilot the dropships, crew the smartguns, and do everything else that a man can. In fact, I know some who can do more.

I think about Vasquez, she was one tough broad. She could rip your leg off and force feed it to you and all you could do is sit there and say "Yum, can I have more, please?" We were on the same squad when we went to LV-426. Oh man, LV-426 was hell, sometimes I wonder how I even got out of there alive.



Those creatures were horrible, I often wake up in a cold sweat from their dual-jawed mouths snapping at me in my dreams.



"Private!" My squad leader's yell snapped me out of my daze.


"Sir?" I answered.


"You have some visitors," he answered and walked away.


I looked to see who was here to see me, I couldn't believe it, though.


"Vampi?"

Oh my god it's worse than I thought!

They're golfing now, too!